Help, I Forgot to Breathe
I forgot to breathe. No, really. At some point between juggling life, stress, and the daily chaos, I realized I had been breathing all wrong—short, shallow, anxious breaths that never made it past my chest. And honestly, it makes sense. Grief sits in the belly, fear camps out in the chest, and most of us are running on autopilot, barely letting our lungs do their job.
Breathing should be natural. Babies do it perfectly. They breathe deep into their bellies without even trying. But somewhere along the way—between stress, societal pressures, and years of just trying to keep up—we unlearn how to breathe properly. We trade deep, healing breaths for rushed inhales and half-hearted exhales, as if oxygen is a luxury instead of a necessity. And the consequences? Fatigue, brain fog, anxiety, and emotional stagnation.
So, if you’re feeling drained, stuck, or overwhelmed, ask yourself: Did I forget to breathe? Because chances are, you did.
The Forgotten Power of Deep Breathing
Breathing is one of the few bodily functions that can be both involuntary and voluntary. Your body will breathe whether you think about it or not, but how you breathe? That’s completely in your control. And the difference between shallow, autopilot breathing and deep, intentional breathing is staggering.
Deep breathing isn't just about getting more air; it’s about fueling the entire body. Oxygen affects everything—our energy levels, our immune system, our mental clarity, and even our emotions. Ever notice how people who breathe deeply seem more relaxed, more present? That’s because they are. Shallow breathers, on the other hand, tend to be more anxious, foggy, and, let’s be honest, a little extra dramatic.
Let’s break it down:
Brain Boost: Oxygen is Mental Clarity
Your brain is a high-maintenance organ. It demands 20% of the body's oxygen supply to function properly, even though it only makes up about 2% of your total body weight. If it doesn’t get enough oxygen, your thoughts become sluggish, your memory falters, and decision-making becomes harder.
Ever had one of those moments where you walk into a room and immediately forget why you’re there? Sure, maybe it’s just life being chaotic, but if you’re constantly in a brain fog, it could be a sign that you’re not breathing deeply enough.
Deep breathing sends fresh oxygen to the brain, making you clearer, sharper, and maybe even a little wiser. It’s a natural way to improve focus and problem-solving—something caffeine or energy drinks can’t quite replicate.
Grief & the Breath: Releasing Emotional Weight
When grief hits, it doesn’t just exist in the mind—it manifests in the body. Grief often sits deep in the belly, weighing you down like an invisible anchor. That’s why a deep, gut-wrenching cry feels like it’s coming from your core—it is.
When we’re grieving, our breath becomes shallow. We unconsciously restrict our breathing, as if holding our breath could hold back the pain. But this only causes more tension, more stagnation. Deep breathing, on the other hand, allows grief to move through us instead of getting stuck.
Have you ever noticed that after a good, long cry, your body feels lighter? That’s because crying forces deep breathing. It’s the body's way of regulating emotions, even when we don’t realize it. So instead of resisting grief, breathe through it. Let your body process it, release it.
Fear & Anxiety: How Shallow Breathing Keeps You Stuck
Fear lives in the chest. When we’re afraid, our breath becomes short and rapid. It’s a survival mechanism—our bodies are preparing for fight or flight. The problem is, in today’s world, we’re constantly in a low-level state of fear.
People work in fear. They hustle out of fear. Even when doing good things, fear is often the motivation—fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of not being enough. And since fear is tied to our breath, most of us are unintentionally breathing like we’re running from a lion, even when we’re just answering emails.
Shallow breathing fuels anxiety. It keeps your nervous system on edge, convincing your body that you’re in danger even when you’re perfectly safe. The only way to break the cycle? Deep, intentional breaths.
Breathing deeply signals to your brain, Hey, we’re okay. No need to panic. And the more you practice it, the more naturally calm and resilient you become.
What Happens When You Breathe Deeply?
Breathing isn’t just about survival; it’s about thriving. Here’s what happens when you start taking deep, intentional breaths:
- Your Heart Rate Slows – Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, also known as the “rest and digest” mode. This counters stress and promotes relaxation.
- Your Blood Circulates Better – Oxygen-rich blood flows more efficiently, improving digestion, reducing inflammation, and even enhancing skin health.
- Your Body Detoxes More Effectively – Did you know that about 70% of toxins are released through the breath? Deep breathing helps flush out CO2 and other waste from the body.
- You Get an Energy Boost – More oxygen means better energy production at a cellular level. That’s why deep breathing can be just as effective as a cup of coffee.
- You Sleep Better – Deep breathing before bed reduces stress hormones and preps the body for restful sleep.
How to Breathe Like You Mean It
The good news? You can fix your breathing right now. No equipment, no fancy apps, just breathe. Here’s how:
The 4-7-8 Method
- Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 seconds, letting your belly expand.
- Hold your breath for 7 seconds.
- Exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds.
- Repeat 4-5 times.
This method is particularly great for calming anxiety and improving sleep.
Belly Breathing (Diaphragmatic Breathing)
- Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly.
- Inhale deeply through your nose, making sure the hand on your belly moves, not your chest.
- Exhale fully, emptying your lungs completely.
- Repeat until your body starts to relax.
This type of breathing is the most natural way to breathe, yet most adults have forgotten how to do it.
Laughing & Crying: The Body’s Natural Reset
If deep breathing feels hard, start with laughter. Belly laughing naturally forces deep breathing, filling your lungs with fresh air and triggering feel-good hormones.
On the flip side, don’t hold back tears when grief hits. Crying is one of the body’s most effective ways to regulate emotions and reset the breath. If you need a deep breath but feel stuck, watching a funny movie or letting yourself have a good cry can help unlock it.
Final Thoughts: Don’t Forget to Breathe
We often focus on what we eat, how much we sleep, or how many steps we take, but we rarely ask, Am I breathing correctly? Yet breath is the foundation of everything. It influences our physical health, mental clarity, and emotional resilience.
So the next time life gets overwhelming and you feel grief, fear, or just the weight of everything—pause.
Take a deep, intentional breath.
Your body—and your mind—will thank you.
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